The North

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,

“Where have you been?”

God pointed downward through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,

“What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

“For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor.

“The Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot.

“Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.”

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

“This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to another area of land and asked,

“What’s that?”

“Ah,” said God, “that’s the NORTH OF ENGLAND, the most glorious place on earth.There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North-West alone, and many impressive cities. It is the home of the world’s finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians.

“The people from the NORTH OF ENGLAND are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous, and they’re going to be found traveling the world.

“They’ll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.”

Sutton Bank, North Yorkshire, England

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed

“What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!”

God replied, very wisely,

“Wait ’til you see the bunch of TOSSERS I’m putting down SOUTH to govern the country!”

Sutton Bank, North Yorkshire, England

The North of England – the most wondrous of all places on Earth!

Bex & Co.

[Thanks to my friend, Bill D. for this tale.]

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9 Responses to The North

  1. Smartiplants says:

    Gotta love that scenery!


  2. mz. em says:

    I can only hope to get to visit England and Scotland.


  3. mz. em says:

    I can only hope to get to visit England and Scotland.


  4. mz. em says:

    I can only hope to get to visit England and Scotland.


  5. ~ Sil in Corea says:

    My daughter and her hubby are in love with the North of England, too. They go there nearly every year, to hike and visit friends that they met over the internet.

    re: another North, Korea, we aren’t worried. They are just trying to get food aid. Last fall, a typhoon flooded the North at harvest time. So, we’ve been expecting this for over 6 months. We’re just sick of them using threats to manipulate the world into paying for “protection.” It’s a racket!


  6. Bex says:

    Hi “Me”, I don’t have ANY cookies right now! I was going to make some today but made vanilla ice cream for Paul instead. But I have a good recipe for “cardamom cookies” – so maybe tomorrow. Have a good trip North… where you’re going is almost as good as the North of England…. pretty close….
    love, “me”


  7. Eric Mayer says:

    Can’t argue with this. Mary is from Newcastle.


  8. Mary aka Maya says:


    Small bed;large bed. Yes, I have kept up with the goings-on at Crow Cottage. Going North this weekend. No,not your North but ours-hardly the same. Anyway, enjoyed all the blogs very much. I’ll talk to you soon on the land line and intend to come over to indulge in a cookie or two. I hope Paul won’t mind sharing. Miss you. Can you believe it’s been this long since ASNE. I still miss our daily chats.
    Retirement is for the birds.!

    See you soon.
    Love ME


  9. sandy freel says:



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