Nine Days On…

It’s been more than a week now (9 days to be exact) since we lost “The Best Dog That Ever Lived,” our boy Kip.

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It’s been a very hard week emotionally for both of us.

Some people think a man who cries is weak. Not so. In my opinion, a man who cries, especially because he has lost a beloved pet, is the best kind of human being alive. My Paul is one of those men. I haven’t seen him cry like this since I’ve known him. I have done my share of uncontrolled sobbing, too, but Paul has just been hit so hard by this unexpected loss of our golden boy, Kip.

Anyway, yesterday I went the whole day, for the first time in a while, without crying. Today, I’ve already had three episodes of it, so maybe I’m making up for it now. But each day, I’m hoping, it will get easier.

I set about to make a memorial framed picture grouping of our Kippie boy, and here it is, hanging centered over the sofa in the living room. The pawprints were included in a sympathy card that our new veterinarian and staff sent to us, presumably made by the staff at the crematorium. A nice touch, and I’m so thankful they did it.

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Closer up:

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I printed off one of those pictures of him sitting under the (now gone) burning bushes out front:

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It’s one of my favorite pictures of him. He was such a beautiful dog, both on the outside and on the inside.

I’m sure there are some people who would disagree with the “inside” part, but they didn’t “know” him like we did. They would be the various people who would walk by the house and get barked at… all the way from one end of the property to the other until they were well out of sight… and even for a minute afterwards…

It wasn’t as if Kip wanted to harm them; in fact, he really just was saying hello and asking them to come closer so they could get acquainted, but it must have sounded otherwise to some people, especially those who had their own dogs with them! When Kip saw a dog going by, he went berserk! I could not control his barking. Paul could, but I couldn’t. I was always the softie in Kip’s life… the one who gave in and spoiled him.

We have a neighbor who didn’t like Kip at all (?) and who, when Kip barked at him, would actually go inside his house and get one of those nasty, horrid air-horns that they use on boats, and he pointed it at Kip and it would blare out that loud, loud noise at him (and anyone else around within hearing distance). It was totally rude and crude… and it would make Kip bark even more! So it did no good. It was just a way to aggravate him and us. Not a good thing.

KODAK Digital Still Camera

Above, another picture of Kip and Emmalee that we got back from Paul’s folks when they passed away last year. They loved their “grand-dogs” very much and wanted a framed picture of them nearby in the nursing facility where they lived. Behind this picture is the one I painted of our long-ago Great Pyrenees dog, Esmeralda, from a picture of her I took on our wedding day in Marblehead. Below is the original photograph:

Esmeralda

So, 9 days have gone by. Kip is “living,” or should I say residing, in the front room that I now call “Kip’s Room,” in his beautiful cedar box. There is no TV in there, and no computers. There is a radio/cd player that I listen to a lot and the front windows that look out onto the garden in the front of the house. We are still feeding the birds with the suet blocks and they are happy birds in our garden… that’s for sure.

So I’m heading out now to Kip’s Room to have a little visit with him, chat about things, tell him again how much I love him and always will, and generally let out a little emotion that is getting built up whilst writing this entry…

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I hope to move on to more normal topics soon. But it does take a while. I’m not quite ready for prime time yet… (not that I ever was!)

Pretty quiet out there now…

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Cheers,

Bex & Co.

 

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12 Responses to Nine Days On…

  1. Hil says:

    Oh. my! I want to cry along with you! What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful soul.

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  2. Bex says:

    Good idea Teri. I may do that tomorrow… although she has a bunch of really good cookies right now to get through… but there’s nothing like home-made!

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  3. TopsyTurvy says:

    Maybe Em would enjoy you making her some cookies, Bex? Familiar things are comforting.

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  4. Bex says:

    And… thanks for asking about Em, Bonnie. She is not the happiest of campers lately. She sleeps a lot, or at least lies around a lot, wondering where the “big guy” is. He set the tone for this house and really, it all revolved around our Kip. He was “the man” and we all molded our lives around what he was doing or thinking or wanted… so we are, all three of us, feeling quite adrift right now.

    Isn’t it amazing how a dog could do all that? Without ever uttering a single human word other than “woof”?

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  5. Bex says:

    Thanks everyone for your words and comfort.

    Maggie, no, that header picture changes with my moods… I’ve had it up there before, but the header will stay put until I change it in the blog, so I thought this one would be appropriate since lately it’s all about Kip here with me. I love how you are remembering Mist, too… I want to plant something just for Kip too.

    I still can’t believe he’s really gone.

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  6. nina says:

    Writing about a beautiful dog is grand. You don’t have to stop.

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  7. I wonder Bex, did the image at the top of your entries always have that picture of Kip and the “Woof”! I hadn’t noticed it before, but today it was the first thing I saw when the page appeared. So I wonder if I missed it, or is that new? The effect was immediate, Kip saying hello before I had a chance to read the entry.

    How lovely that you have Kip’s Room, and that his Cedar Box is near.

    We have our Mist here with us at Mist Cottage, and her Lilac Bush is where I can gaze at it from the kitchen window. Still missing her, still teary occasionally, but mostly now I feel a deep calm comfort that she is with us.

    ((Hugs))

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  8. Sleeps_With_Rocks says:

    Bex,

    My heart really does go out to you, Paul and Em. It’s sometimes hard to put feelings into words for me. I know you all are feeling Kip’s absence in a big way.

    I like the collage of pictures and paw prints you made of Kip. The photos you have displayed are heartwarming.

    I hope Paul’s tears are helping him. It’s a rough journey to lose a close friend.

    Hugs,
    Nora

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  9. Bonnie says:

    Such a rude neighbor you have! Plus cruel.

    How is Emmy fairing?

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  10. TopsyTurvy says:

    Grief is grief. Whether it’s for a dog or a human being, it will leave when it chooses. Don’t feel you have to hurry it along, Bex. It’s okay to miss that beautiful boy.

    Bri cried too when we lost Louis. I know what you mean…

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  11. Sandy Freel says:

    In time the tears will slow down.
    Nice you have all those photos of him out.

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  12. WendyNC says:

    Bex, the grieving is hardest when it’s for the one who would otherwise comfort you. I wish you and Paul peace in your memories of Kip.

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